Thursday, 3 July 2014

Show don't tell

Today in writing I wrote a story about hiding.

We had to try to show it not tell it.I think I done well in using describing words and i think i need to get better at putting more information about were I was.

“Please don’t find me please don’t find me”I thought to myself.My hands were shaking my heart was pounding I could see pitch black.”Ready or not here I come”.I heard near by.”You cant find me you cant find me”I whispered to myself a ray of light was coming in as I was peeping through the light.I could hear big footsteps getting closer and closer. I was trying not to move standing there as straight as a statue I thought I was safe behind lots of clothes.It felt like hours had  gone past “Lets get this over and done with”I said with a big frown on my face.”Here I am come and get me” I could here lots of children racing down the hallway.I found you”.

1 comment:

  1. I Hine I really like the way you said when your heart was pounding. I remember the time hiding too.