Friday, 29 August 2014

Passion learning project.

This week Room 17 has started a passion learning project. My group is doing baking and are making some yummy smoothies. This week has been challenging just to finish our plan. I think my group has done well at searching up facts about smoothies. I think my group needs to work on co-operating with each other. Here is my groups plan and I am going to show you how I am going to show you my learning by here it is I hope you like it...

Wednesday, 13 August 2014


Wednesday 13 August 2014

WALT-Show not tell to describe and expand on one feature of our character.I think I done well at using my imagination.I think I need to work on expanding my character's feature.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Lucy.  Lucy had beautiful long golden hair.Whenever she went outside her hair will glistened in the sun.  She loved to run when she ran her hair always swayed side to side.  Lucy had a secret about her hair.Lucy had magic powers if some was injured Lucy would rap here hair around the injured person's pain and she would sing a song.

Friday, 8 August 2014

Show don't tell.

A few days ago Room 17 had to write a story in a third person about going into a scary forest.I think I done well at using my imagination.But I think I need to work on using more describing words.

As he  was walking through the misty fog he could see lots of tree’s swaying side to side and the sticks were crackling like someone was standing on it. He could feel trancherlers  crawling up his legs,he could see zombies coming out of their graves.  Witch's flying up in the sky.  As he was walking over a slippery bridge blood was  squirted on the trees.  Skeletons  scattered on the ground. Vampires leaping from tree to tree.  Shadows circling around him.  Little girls running like crazy.  People walking around with no eyeballs.  He could hear clowns laughing in the distance.As he was walking he could hear giants snoring.  Then suddenly...

The girl who changed faces.

add detail to our narrative writing to make it interesting to our reader

Success Criteria

- use descriptive details (use story web)

- use different sentence beginnings and types

- use expressive vocabulary

- describe the event so the reader feels as though they are there

- create a narrative

A few weeks ago Room 17 got to do their own narrative writing about a girl who goes into a foresst and she turns into a witch.I think a done well at describing the forest.I think I need to work on trying to be more imaginative in my story.

One hot and sunny day there was a little girl named Christy she was very nice and beautiful with long blond straight hair and blue eyes as blue as the ocean.Christy was playing hiding go seek with some other children so Christy ran into a mysterious forest with streaming waterfalls and pink blossoms.”Tweet tweet”she heard as birds chirping and a beautiful spider web shining in the sun She ran around looking for a hiding spot when she spotted a light red shiny apple, she took a bite. Suddenly her face started bubbling and she turned into a green hideous witch. As she sat on a rock she started to weep then and old woman came along, her name was Mary she had long gray hair and a dark black cloak that is camoflauge at night. Mary whispered. “Here child, wear this tiara and you will transform back into a little girl again” So Christy put on the tiara and she transformed back into a girl again.”I found you” as the children yelled. In the end no one had found the apple ever again and Christy never saw Mary again either.

Friday, 1 August 2014

Show don't tell

WALT show not tell in our writing

I will begin by describing what the characters body felt like.
I will describe what they were thinking

I will leave the audience hanging

On Tuesday and Wednesday for writing  room 17 was learning how to write in third person.I think I done well at showing my characters feelings.I think to add more describing words.

Can you guess what my characters feeling is?

His body froze, as he was sweating quite heavily.  His lips clenched together. As his face went red he was biting his fingernails.  “Boom boom boom” went his heart racing through his mind.  “Is this a punishment"............

Here I am recording myself on audio boo.I think I done well at reading my story out loud.But I think I need to work on using expression.

I hope you like it.

listen to ‘Show don't tell(Hine)’ on Audioboo