Friday, 1 August 2014

Show don't tell

WALT show not tell in our writing

WILF
I will begin by describing what the characters body felt like.
I will describe what they were thinking

I will leave the audience hanging


On Tuesday and Wednesday for writing  room 17 was learning how to write in third person.I think I done well at showing my characters feelings.I think to add more describing words.


Can you guess what my characters feeling is?


His body froze, as he was sweating quite heavily.  His lips clenched together. As his face went red he was biting his fingernails.  “Boom boom boom” went his heart racing through his mind.  “Is this a punishment"............




Here I am recording myself on audio boo.I think I done well at reading my story out loud.But I think I need to work on using expression.

I hope you like it.



listen to ‘Show don't tell(Hine)’ on Audioboo

2 comments:

  1. Hine great job at showing us how your character feels without saying the word. I think your describing words are good, which ones do you think could be better? I think you might need to re-record yours on audioboo again as you are missing lots of it. :-) Also I think you need to change the red writing as it is quite hard to read with the blue background. Mīharo Hine!!

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  2. Hey hine I really like the way you dscibed how the boy was breathing.This remind's me of the time I was brething likkle this to a horror movie.

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