Friday, 8 August 2014

The girl who changed faces.

add detail to our narrative writing to make it interesting to our reader

Success Criteria

- use descriptive details (use story web)

- use different sentence beginnings and types

- use expressive vocabulary

- describe the event so the reader feels as though they are there

- create a narrative

A few weeks ago Room 17 got to do their own narrative writing about a girl who goes into a foresst and she turns into a witch.I think a done well at describing the forest.I think I need to work on trying to be more imaginative in my story.

One hot and sunny day there was a little girl named Christy she was very nice and beautiful with long blond straight hair and blue eyes as blue as the ocean.Christy was playing hiding go seek with some other children so Christy ran into a mysterious forest with streaming waterfalls and pink blossoms.”Tweet tweet”she heard as birds chirping and a beautiful spider web shining in the sun She ran around looking for a hiding spot when she spotted a light red shiny apple, she took a bite. Suddenly her face started bubbling and she turned into a green hideous witch. As she sat on a rock she started to weep then and old woman came along, her name was Mary she had long gray hair and a dark black cloak that is camoflauge at night. Mary whispered. “Here child, wear this tiara and you will transform back into a little girl again” So Christy put on the tiara and she transformed back into a girl again.”I found you” as the children yelled. In the end no one had found the apple ever again and Christy never saw Mary again either.

1 comment:

  1. Hine I like the way you used good words like mysterious, hideous and camouflage. I'm going to use some of you ideas when i'm writing a narrative story. I think you should look through you're work sometimes.